The Lazy Gardener

Empty Nest

2009-05-25T22:42:00.000-07:00

...Yes, even though I completely left out a blog entry on the subject, oh...8 weeks ago, our little ladies have moved out on their own. I have a feeling I won't sleep well tonight because I will be worried about them.

How to turn your dog bulimic in 11 easy steps!

2009-04-27T21:35:00.000-07:00

Step 1. Make a large grocery run. Preferably after helping a friend make it to an appointment to get an MRI then going out for a burrito and beer.

Step 2. When you get home, unload your groceries from the car to the house. Put all of the bags on the kitchen counter except for 2 of them.

Step 3. Run upstairs to check your email. Make sure the dogs follow you up.

3a. Do not notice one of the dogs slip away downstairs unnoticed.

Step 4. Come downstairs to find said dog starting in on a one-pound carton of butter.
4a. Look around for the other pound of butter and find only the gnawed outer carton.

Step 5. Become incredulous that a 35-pound dog would have consumed a pound of delicious, delicious butter, waxed wrapping and all. Look around for the other 3 cubes he couldn't have possibly eaten.

Step 6. After realizing he had ingested a pound of butter (unsalted, luckily!), scold him as if it were entirely his fault, then send him to his crate.

Step 7. After a brief moment, snap back into reality. Recall the time 2 years ago when he ingested almost an entire box of Samoa Girl Scout cookies, and what the emergency vet said about saturated fat.

Step 8. Call your vet, panicked, and explain (sheepishly) how your 35-pound dog ate a pound, not a cube, of butter.

Step 9. Realize that your dog is not in grave danger when the first thing your vet playfully says to you is, "well, you know...you really should feed him regularly."

Step 10. Confirm with the vet your known method of inducing regurgitation: hydrogen peroxide mixed with peanut butter.

10a. Feel embarrassed when the vet says, "...well, I think he's had enough fat for today. Just take a turkey baster and force the hydrogen peroxide down his throat."

Step 11. After following the vet's instructions, spend the rest of the afternoon feeling the scorn of the sick dog because you're the one who made him sick.

It was a bad day for this dog mom.

Sunshine Came Softly

2009-04-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

It must be spring here on the peninsula...

These are some of the prettiest tulips I've ever seen...

The scent of the narcissus are so intoxicating, I can't cut them and bring them in the house. They're too overwhelming!

I don't really like to eat chives, but I think the plant is so pretty.

I wish I could say this is the lone dandelion in our yard.

Oh, yes. And chickens. 6 cute little peepers who live in a galvanized watering trough in our spare bedroom, with nothing but a heat lamp, food, water, and attention from us twice a day. What a life.

Cal has been busy building a coop, because he's good like that. No real building plans, just an amalgamation of coop plans he's seen, combined with his intuition, intelligence, and focus. It's almost done, and once they get their big-girl feathers, in about another 4-6 weeks, they will get to live outside for good, eating grubs, ants, and vegetable scraps.

And most likely boss the dogs around.

Time

2009-03-29T21:44:00.000-07:00

I apparently have a horrible sense of time. On March 2nd, I told you I would be back in a week. It is now the 29th.

That's more than a week, right? I mean, my calendar here at my house still says February.

I have a few things to blog about:

Chickens
Cider
Travel
And of course, the yard

For the first 2, I even have pictures to go along with the upcoming blog entries! For the third subject, the travel is coming up--this week and in June--so there will be pictures. For the last subject, every time I walk around the yard, I get slightly depressed. There may or may not be pictures, depending on my pride.

So. Much. Work. To. Do.

Thanks for your patience!

Holy Mackerel

2009-03-02T21:54:00.000-08:00

8 months since I made a blog entry?! That's just ridiculous.
I've been gearing up to start writing again, but I'm not quite ready tonight.
Check back in a week (she says to probably nobody.)

So I broke North with no delay *

2008-07-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

I've always been enamored of members of the Ursidae family, having grown up going to the Oregon Zoo a lot, and always wanting to spend more time in that area than in any other. Ursus maritimus has always been my favorite of the bears, but I love them all. In fact, for the minute I was a Zoology major, I considered focusing on the study of bears (Ursology?). I curse my math-feeble brain for holding me back from that, with a possible failing grade in Physics on the horizon.

When Cal and I decided to take a vacation this year (our first since our honeymoon 3 years ago), and we decided on Glacier National Park and Waterton Lakes National Park, I only had one thing on my mind: Bears. Not the threat of encountering one on a hike or picnic, but the promise of seeing one from a respectable distance. Because, while I daydream about cuddling up with a bear and perhaps talking over the state of the world, I know the reality of their ferocity.

While I was helping Cal watch the road for deer, elk, sheep, and goats, I was all the while scanning for signs of Beardom. In the brush right off the road, in the distant tree-filled slopes, on the lakefront taking a bath. Nothing. Lots of mountain goats, Bighorn sheep, ground squirrels, deer (oh my heavens, did we see deer!) but not a bear to be found.

The day before we left for home, we were coming back from our beautiful hike at Haystack Butte. I was feeling a bit glum, having encountered no bears during our trip. After we crossed back into Canada, on our way to the lodge, we noticed cars were stopped at the side of the road. We pulled over to see what I assumed to be some boring old mountain goats (we had seen so many, it almost wasn't interesting anymore.) On the little hill, about 100 feet from the car, I saw some ears (4 of them) poking up that definitely did not belong to a goat. Or a sheep. Or a deer. I thought maybe they belonged to some wolves.

And then...
they raised their heads...
and we saw...

(No, it wasn't a Two-Headed Bear)

*My excitement at seeing two young grizzly bears from my car window was a high that lasted for days. I had an excited little hand-dance I would give intermittently while Cal was driving, always to the tune of "Girls" by the Beastie Boys. But, of course, it wasn't girls I was singing about, it was bears (two at a time I want...)

I will have to write more about our trip later in the week, as I'm headed up to Seattle tomorrow for Riesling Rendezvous, hoping to bring some information back to my people and bust some myths about Riesling. As I've said before, my job sucks.

I really should send W. a Thank You note

2008-07-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

After all, we wouldn't have been able to take a summer vacation without his stimulus (sorry, couldn't resist.) In fact, I can't remember the last time I took a summer vacation as an adult.

Glacier National Park, I will sign your name to the card, too.

(Our decision to spend the stimulus on a vacation is great and all, but it's not as good as the guy Cal heard about who was going to donate his entire stimulus check to the Obama campaign.)

Summer Eye Candy, Part 1

2008-07-06T23:20:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite views in my yard right now: Icelandic Poppies as viewed through the artichokes.

One of few Peonies that bloom in our yard.

My favorite rosebush. It's also the healthiest, right in front of the house.

My Oregon strawberries (not actually from my yard) before vacuum-packing and freezer treatment.

Summer Music Meme

2008-06-26T21:14:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Notorious Ph.D for another opportunity for a non-house/garden-related post (and also: happy birthday!)
The following list is my "what music is shaping your summer, right now?" meme. The instructions are as follows:

List seven songs you are into right now.
No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your summer.
Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs.
Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

(The last one is irrelevant, because I only know 4 or 5 people who read my blog.)

She Left Me For Jesus--Hayes Carll (I just saw him open for Old 97s last week, and was very impressed. If you're not into traditional or alt-country, or any country for that matter, you'd best stay away. Clever lyrics, though.)
Rabbit Fur Coat--Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
Tree Hugger--Kimya Dawson/Antsy Pants
Barrier Reef--Old 97s
No Hiding Place--Elvis Costello
Baby Let Me Hold your Hand--Detroit Cobras
Pot Kettle Black--Wilco

There are a ton of other songs, since I drive about an hour a day for work...windows down, stereo turned up, chugging down the road in my 12 year-old Mazda...yeah. I'm a bad-ass. But at least I have awesome shades.

Because it's fun

2008-06-09T19:20:00.000-07:00

As a 1930s wife, I am
Poor

Take the test!

I suspect I would be better if I didn't warm my cold feet on my husband at night and dressed in my pearls and heels for breakfast.

As a 1930s husband, I am
Very Superior

Take the test!

I hope he knows what a good husband I am.

Thanks Notorious, for a fun time-killer!

So long, sucker

2008-06-09T10:12:00.000-07:00

Part of being a grown-up, in my eyes, is getting enthused with the purchase of a seemingly-mundane household item. The kind of item my 22-year-old self might roll her eyes at. My 37-year-old self, however, relishes it. When The Queen purchased us a dishwasher for Christmas the year Cal and I bought our house, I was so happy. And when we figured out we had enough Sears gift cards from our wedding/birthdays/etc. to put toward a huge chunk of the fridge we wanted? Again, happy. Ditto for our new range. And the new washer and dryer.

It seemed like we had what we needed for the house, appliance-wise. Then I realized, with 2 dogs and 2 cats, all of whom shed like crazy, how old my upright vacuum was. It was one of the first "adult" purchases when I moved out of my parents' house in 1989. Actually, I think it was a gift. It's vacuumed 7 domiciles, been repaired once when the Crazy Ex-Roommate decided she would just vacuum up the cat litter she spilled (like a whole bag's worth), and suffered through me having lost attachments for it and over-full bags. And its vacuuming power just wasn't for our needs anymore.

I mentioned to Cal that, at some point in the future, I was looking forward to getting a new vacuum. Being a pragmatist, not to mention frugal, he said when Hoover gave out, we would get a new one. About a month later, he came home from work and told me they were in need of a new vacuum at their office, and he was going to donate Hoover.

Not only is my beloved pragmatic and frugal, he is thorough and methodical. He researched new vacuums, compared features, and went to Stark's, which is sort of in our neighborhood and has been in business since 1932. When he found one he thought would fit our needs, he had me go check it out and buy it if I liked it.

Introducing: Simplicity 'Verve', the newest member of our household.

Is it possible to have a crush on a vacuum cleaner? The answer is "yes", when it's this sexy.
I'm thinking of some flame decals or maybe some sexy-lady mudflaps.

Lack of Sleep, Lack of Sun, Abundance of Canadians

2008-05-23T23:12:00.000-07:00

What have I been doing in the past month or so since I've written a true blog entry? Hmm...

Work
Lots of personnel changes means The Lazy Gardener is not The Lazy Wine Steward. Since I travel from site to site filling in, it's been an especially busy time for me. This is the first week I've had time to breathe, and I'm essentially taking a 3-day weekend.

Home
We had a few nice days a week or so ago (honestly, I've lost track of time), and everything in the yard just seemed to pop. Because of our unseasonably cool weather, a lot of the performers in our yard are a little behind. The Lilacs didn't seem to last as long as usual this year, same with the Dogwood and Golden Chain. The Mock Orange is almost blooming (2 weeks later than usual) and so is the Mountain Laurel.

Remember last month when I planted some seeds in the egg cartons? Yeah, I fried them in the garden window without having remembered to water them for a few days. This was during the freakishly hot weather last week. Incidentally, forgetting to water is why most of my house plants eventually died.

We bought a new minor appliance, which I will write about in another entry.

I'm hoping for a break in the weather to finally got my starts in the ground and a few weeds pulled. The weekend (Mother's Day) I usually plant the tomatoes and such, it was far too wet. The following weekend was far too hot, and I was afraid they would wilt or fry. I don't even care if there's a light drizzle, I will plant my starts. This is Oregon after all. I was born and raised here, so I should hardly let a little rain stop me.

Life
Mother's Day was a little different this year. Normally, The Queen and I go down to Salem to Schreiner's Iris Gardens to stroll through the gardens and purchase 12 cut stems of various iris for a ridiculously small amount of money. But, knowing what was, and wasn't, happening in our yard, I called ahead of time to see what was happening in their gardens. They, too, are about 2 weeks behind.
So instead, The Queen wanted to go to Ikea. Ikea opened a Portland store last year, and she has admired some of the attractive, affordable kitchen paraphernalia Cal and I have purchased. And she was also interested in their ridiculously inexpensive tasty breakfast that I rave about. Breakfast was eaten (I had Swedish Pancakes--yum!), shopping and browsing commenced, and The Queen was duly impressed with amount of goodies she bought for such a small amount of money.

That night, I went with 6 of my friends to see Kids in the Hall, the Canadian comedy troupe extraordinaire who recently reunited and are currently touring. Four of us have been huge fans since...well, a long time (the other 3 in the group were significant others.) A few of us have even had a contest going to see how many Kids we could meet before they die ("Better hurry, then," as Dave Foley told Paige when she met him on the set of "NewsRadio" some years back.) Kevin and Bruce have been the elusive ones, although honestly, since we met Dave, Mark, and Scott in 2000, we have settled into our adult lives and haven't had the time or money to travel around fulfilling a silly dream.
...This time, however, our silly dream came to us.
As for the contest, AudGirl, Paige, and I all won together! Some members of our party, however, didn't think it was such a big deal since all they had to do was show up to one show in one city. We didn't let their smugness get us down. We're still beaming.

Briefly...

2008-05-22T14:55:00.000-07:00

[Yes, I have been away from the blog for awhile. I wish I had a better (read: more glamorous) excuse for my absence. But the truth is, I've been working an extra lot the past month.

I have quite a bit to tell you, nothing earth-shattering, just little things. I hope to have time tomorrow to write it all down.

But until then, one thought from today...]

One who has PMS, and who is also an animal-lover (or even an animal-liker) should never just "drop by" the Humane Society to visit the kitties and the doggies. If that individual has no self-control, there might be tears. Not to mention fighting the urge to bring home 2 more cats and a 65-pound dog.

Im April macht das Wetter was es will

2008-04-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

I just heard on the news that the high temperature for tomorrow, in Portland Oregon, will be lower than the high temperatures in Moscow, Reykjavik, and Anchorage.

Seriously?

Seriously.

What I Did On My 4-day Weekend (or Who Am I and What Have I Done With The Lazy Gardener?)

2008-04-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

It could have gone one of 2 ways: Take 4 days off and sit around the house doing not much of anything except squishing ants in the kitchen (for serious) or take 4 days off and kick some serious boo-tay.

Friday:

Took the dogs on a longer-than-usual walk
Went down to visit my grandfather and my cousin and her son who were visiting, too. Had lunch at Hometown Buffet. Didn't over-eat for once (although I could fill up on their fried okra, banana pudding, and chocolate pudding cake.)
Braved Winco for some lunch staples and the rest of dinner ingredients and the pet supply store for kennel bedding.
Mowed the front lawn after foraging in Loafland.
Cooked Cal an extra-nice dinner after an extra-hard week for him.
Took a walk with Cal and the dogs after dinner
Folded some laundry

Saturday:

Slept in a little bit (which means 7:30 in our house)
Cleaned up in the kitchen and started to reorganize the pantry
Finally planted some seeds in egg cartons to put in the garden window (I know I know...shouldn't I have done this a month or 2 ago? The answer, of course, is yes. )
Weeded the north-facing shade bed
Worked with Cal to get the vegetable beds ready for planting, which included getting the clover taken care of (the soil is super-great now)
Discovered that if you listen to the David Bowie station on Pandora long enough, you will hear Billy Idol. More than once. And Devo.
Mowed the backyard
Had a (mostly) one-sided conversation with some worms. Successfully convinced them that the dirt flower bed was a more comfortable home for them than underneath a root-bound Escallonia in a pot on top of a concrete slab.
Watched Cal wash my car (more exhausting than you'd think)
Got a sunburn on my shoulder (yes, I was wearing sunscreen. I missed a spot.)
With Cal, finished seating one of the big (about 4' x 4') planter boxes he made last year
Went to The Lucky Lab to join my friend Scooter for a birthday beer (his birthday, not mine)

Sunday:

Finished cleaning the kitchen
Cleaned out the inside of my car--Cal Shop-Vac'ed it for me
Did a little bit of weeding
Cal and I cleaned out the garage (a huge task, let me tell you) (It's almost unbelievable some of the things we saved: an empty yarrow seed envelope? A pair or work gloves with holes in all the fingers?)
Ran a couple of errands with my mom and then had dinner--our first time firing up the grill this year!
Discovered that listening to the Led Zeppelin station on Pandora makes us fit in almost too well in our neighborhood

(I definitely feel like I accomplished less on Sunday than I did on Saturday.)

Monday:

Losing...steam...11 in the morning...haven't done...anything. Except eat breakfast.
I...
Um...
Oh, yes. I made a chocolate buttermilk cake with some leftover buttermilk I had.
Made some stew
Apparently, the day revolved around food.

The weather had turned from 70 degrees and sunny all weekend to 55 degrees and rainy and windy on Monday. I felt forced to stay inside. Actually, it was nice after so much activity Saturday and Sunday.

That, friends, concludes my 4-day weekend. It's back to work in the morning (and on Wednesday, a beer school course with the fun and fabulous Jamie Emmerson of Full Sail Brewing!) (I know...my job sucks.)

A bit of inspiration

2008-04-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

One of the perks of my job and where I work (there are many) is the free food. Now, it's not as if the employees just take their shopping carts down the aisles and fill up on organic milk, gluten-free tortillas, and free-range chocolate. But sometimes, for instance, our produce departments have to throw out fruits and veggies. Yes, some of it goes to the food bank, but the employees are encouraged to sift through and take home. A lot of the stuff is barely bad--how many times have any of us passed over a banana with a blemish or an apple with a bruise? When it's free, though, these defects hardly matter.

In the past week, I have been inspired:

First, by my best friend AudGirl and her husband Bert. He and I work for the same company, and when The Husband (Cal--yes, I've decided "The Husband" needs a name. Even if it's a fake one.) and I were over at their house last weekend, Bert was showing off the various pickle-projects they had done: Asparagus, eggs (I have say "gross" to that one, but apparently Cal likes them) and some other ones made with produce he picked up for free.

Second, by someone I've never met, but admire: lolo from VeganYumYum. While I'm not a vegan, or even a vegetarian (I was for almost 10 years, though...the time which my mother lovingly refers to as "The Dark Years"), but every time I read her blog, I consider a lifestyle change. This is the post that inspired me.

Third, by my mom (she's always an inspiration, though) after enjoying the pickled beets she shared with us. They're basic refrigerator-preserved, as opposed to hot-water-bath canning. They are incredibly delicious.

In all instances, I realized that canning/preserving doesn't need to be done on a large scale basis. My first project was strawberry jam. I picked up a bunch of free berries that were on the verge of being over-ripe. Normally, strawberries this time of year are off-limits for me--they're pretty on the outside and actually smell like strawberries, but they are always white and blah on the inside. I have to make myself wait until the Oregon berries are available. But free berries trump my snobbery. I had enough berries to make about 9 pints of jam.
(It looks a little strange, because all of the solids floated to the top. But I assure you, it's delicious.)

My second project was marmalade. I scored a bunch of Meyer lemons and thought turning them into marmalade seemed appropriate. And I was correct--the sweet-tart and bright quality of Meyer lemons balances just right with the sweet base of the jam. I regret not having used more lemon peel, but it is still so pretty. I started to get a little nervous, though: after I had consulted a few recipes and made it, it didn't set up. 6 hours later, it wasn't set up. I tried to ignore it, thinking magically overnight it would gel, so to speak. Then I researched a little online about marmalade and potential lack of a firm set. I came across a forum with people talking about how it sometimes takes 1 week (2 weeks, in one case!) for their marmalade to set up. So I was given hope.

I still have about a dozen lemons left and some of the peel from the ones I used. I will definitely be making an infused vodka with much of it, but I don't want any of it to go to waste. Then I came across this article. If nothing else, I know 2 members of this household who would appreciate #35.

Good thing I'm an amateur!

2008-03-13T19:08:00.001-07:00

Redneck Mother says she read somewhere that "posting pet photos on your blog is 'unprofessional'."
Just as she did, allow me to thumb my nose at convention and professionalism.

Ladies and gentleman (or -men? Maybe?), I present to you Malcolm and Briscoe. Also known as "dopey attention whore" and "sullen, moody teenager."

And so it begins...

2008-03-13T18:30:00.000-07:00

Spring, that is. Here's a sampler of what's happening in my yard right now.

The winter Viburnum that smells heavenly and flowers before it gets leaves...

The little violet plants that thrive in bark chips on top of veggie barrier...(that's Briscoe
in the background)

The Pieris japonica looking pretty...

The mess of spirea branches filling out with leaves...

Grape hyacinths, which we have everywhere in our yard. They've naturalized into parts of the lawn, too!

And introducing...my first spring flower of the year!

2008-02-18T21:22:00.000-08:00

(It's the same flower from a different angle. I was just really excited.)

Divide and (not quite) conquer

2008-02-18T21:20:00.000-08:00

Today was one of those February days in Portland that teases and titillates.

Sunshine!

60 degrees!

Singing birds!

Goodness, it must be springtime!

Okay, not quite. But we're getting close. I acquired my first purchased flowers of the season, 2 sweet primroses from my grandfather. After he divided them from the tray this afternoon, he rushed me out the door because he wanted to make sure they would make it home without dying, because I insisted on putting them in a temporary container that was too small, and which he insisted on loading up with potting soil.

"Papa, I'll be home in half an hour, they'll be fine."

"Well...alright. But go right home and plant them."

(Please don't tell him I stopped at the market for dinner ingredients. He might stroke out.)

A side note on my grandfather and flowers: Since my grandmother passed away last year, he has been almost religious in keeping with many of the gardening practices she kept. For instance, the strip along the driveway must be planted with the correct color of geraniums. And the section under the eve on the south side of the house must be planted with the correct number of begonias. I'm not even kidding.

Since the weather was so nice, I thought it wise to take advantage of it and work on a project and not just sit inside, fold laundry, and watch ~~bad television~~ Law & Order on TNT. It was imperative that I dig up and divide up my dahlia tubers this year. By the time I got around to it last year, it was too late and the dahlias were already sprouting up.

Oh.
My.
Stars.

Let's not skip a year again, k? Out of the 11 different tuber masses I dug up, no fewer than 5 of them had to be put into full-sized paper grocery bags for temporary storage. A couple of them were even double-bagged for safety reasons. My point is (in case you're lost): I have many, many dahlia tubers. And we're running out of space in our garden beds right now, until we take out more lawn and the crappy shrubs I don't like. Luckily, I seem to have many friends in town who are not only willing, but excited to take some off my hands.

I expect in a few years, I will be getting an email from these friends asking if I'm in need of dahlia tubers. What goes around comes around, I guess.

Waking up again

2008-02-13T10:02:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's true I've been away from my blog for awhile. Between the busy holidays at work and my tendency to hibernate afterwards, I took an unplanned break.

So as much as I procrastinate when it comes to actually dealing with my yard, I have really loved looking through the seed and plant catalogs I've been receiving lately. By temporarily suspending reality, I can browse all of the pretty new plants and flowers and think about what would look great in the yard. Never mind that we are currently out of space for planting (until we finish the planter boxes in the backyard.)

Please join me on my journey through Pretendsville:

One of the new catalogs I've started receiving is Annie's Annuals and Perennials. I really like how you can browse by flower color as well as plant type. And the Annie's Favorite's section is fun. Even though she specializes in California native plants, there are plenty of options that will work for my climate.

One of my favorite companies is High Country Gardens. They specialize in xeriscape, or "water-wise" plants, meaning once the plants are established, they will need very little water.We ordered some of their pre-planned gardens, the Xeric aroma garden. This is only the second year we've had it in the ground, so it still looks fairly sparse, but it already looks good. I love all of the plants in the bunch, but I think my favorite of them is the ornamental oregano.
It reminds me of hops flowers. And the way the plants were packed for shipping was ingenious. In fact, one of the salvias was blooming when we unpacked them!

And, of course, you all know I love Dahlias. I haven't ordered any new ones, and I may not this year. That whole nonsense of nowhere to plant them yet. Not to mention I need to divide my existing dahlia tubers, which will yield even more. So maybe I'll get some new ones next year.

Thanks for joining me on my travels today. I promise not to be gone so long this time!

2007-12-25T13:17:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure that--somewhere, somehow--my Nana is laughing at me

2007-12-24T19:18:00.001-08:00

In true holiday form for me, I decided to make something last-minute in the kitchen.

My grandfather has been feeling particularly lonely and blue lately, so I thought a batch of his special fudge Nana used to make him would be in order. I remember as a kid being fascinated by the fact that Papa had his own special fudge that would sit in a covered candy dish on the side table next to his rocking chair. I always thought it was disgusting--dark, dense, and on the bitter side. Why would anyone eat that when they could have some the other fudge, the "Fantasy Fudge", that was basically brown-flavored marshmallow fluff. That's really what it's called--"Fantasy Fudge"--I didn't just make that up.

Now, as an adult, I really appreciate his kind. Sure, it's still sugary, but I like dark chocolate better than milk chocolate. So when I was down visiting last week, I pulled out Nana's old recipe box and copied down the recipe for "Jackson's Fudge", as she had written on the card.

Side note: Anyone who has ever looked at old recipes from family members can tell you that often these recipes aren't complete or even precise. You are as likely to find "a handful of flour" on the ingredient list as you are to find an ingredient list without cooking/baking instructions following it. The latter was true of this recipe, but a quick search on the internet solved the dilemma. Thanks, Al Gore!

So I set to making the fudge last night. I had even bought a candy thermometer so I would know when the temperature reached "soft ball stage." But dang it, it never got hot enough, it just kept boiling and boiling...and boiling, until the moisture had nearly evaporated. A quick test using the "old-fashioned" method of putting a drop of the fudge in a dish of cold water told me that it had indeed reached soft ball stage. But probably 10 minutes earlier. It was most likely closer to hard crack stage when I tested it (and not that kind, either. At least I could have sold some of that to make a bit of cash.) So I immediately pulled it off the heat and added the butter and vanilla, during which the fudge started to set up and I had to scrape hard, dried up chocolate stuff out of the pan and spatula. It definitely still tastes fine, but it's dry and crumbly.

Papa's not getting any fudge this year.

By 'Spirit' do you mean Bourbon? Yes, I've got some.

2007-12-18T07:54:00.000-08:00

I had every intention of calling off Christmas this year.

Obviously, my years in retail have jaded me just a little bit to the joy I used to find in the season.

But far beyond that, my grandmother--who passed away in March--was one of the biggest fans of Christmas I have ever met. Not Christmas as in Christ's birthday (I would characterize my family as largely atheist), and not Christmas as in super-tacky lawn/outdoor decor like those ridiculous inflatable snow-globes people have in their yards or a plethora of lights that light up the neighborhood even on the darkest of nights.

Nana's decorating consisted mostly of the same decorations she'd had since my mom and uncles were small--never-burned wax candles and figurines--and the collection of ornaments she had collected over the years that were always perfectly arranged on a perfect Noble Fir tree. In fact, the trees she selected year after year were so similar to each other, it prompted my cousin when he was younger to ask if the tree that was currently up and decorated was the same one she had the year before.

One tradition my grandmother started when my older and younger cousin and I were young was to buy an ornament for us every year. She continued to do this for her 5 grandchildren until last Christmas. The oldest one I could find was from 1976 (I was 6 years old.) In my adult life, I have only had a Christmas tree a few times, but have found ways to display my fairly large ornament collection either on wreaths or wires strung across a mantle.

This year, I resisted the spirit of Christmas as long as I could. The other night, though, I was at the store and saw 15' cedar garlands for sale, which I envisioned out on mantle with some decorations nestled in and others hanging from the wire The Husband put up a few years ago.
The result?

Speaking of The Husband (who I might not categorize as someone who gets in the spirit...) surprised me a couple of weeks ago by having me come home to this:

The Lazy Gift-Giver

2007-12-05T08:02:00.000-08:00

It's true. I am lazy in other aspects of my life, not just when it comes to my yard. My friends and family might argue that my sometimes-physically demanding 40-hour-a-week job allows me to be lazy. I just hate that excuse.

When October rolls around, I start to think about all of the crafty things I could make as gifts to give out to loved ones in December. Yes, start to think. And then my work life gets crazy-busy, and the next thing I know, it's the beginning of December. And I realize the liqueurs and infusions I want to make should have been started in September, the solid shea butter I haven't ordered yet for various beauty projects will take a week to get here (to say nothing of the time it will take me to make the products once it arrives), and I really should have started making the candles back in October since I only have a few molds. And to be honest, sometimes I don't get my inspiration for my craft projects until after Thanksgiving.

Luckily, there are other people to make cool things and are willing to sell them. There's Crafty Wonderland, and all of the great independent shops all over Portland where industrious and creative people sell their labors of love. And have you been to Etsy? Be careful, it's addictive...if I could pass off some of the great things I've bought there as my own, I would.

So a big THANK YOU to these people for saving me this holiday season.

"My Thanksgiving wish is that I want a robot."

2007-11-21T21:49:00.000-08:00

While in theory I may not love the childrens, I do find them amusing at times (why can't they always be like that?)

Thanks to Kristy at She Just Walks Around With It for posting a link to this site . She also has her own amusing editorial notes, which you should check out, too!

I hope everyone enjoys their day tomorrow. Chop the crops!

Season's End

2007-11-15T22:10:00.000-08:00

I'm always a little sad this time of year. Winter is nearly here, which means cleaning up the yard and putting it to bed. It is nice to get rid of dead and dormant foliage, branches, and stalks. And I like to think about what things are going to look like in spring after the shrubs and trees get their winter trim-backs. But it also means bare branches, little stubs of rose bushes that have been trimmed to the ground, and flower beds with nothing in them but tubers and bulbs below ground. And I always renew the promise to myself that next year, I am going to be more attentive to my garden and yard.

Before we planted our bulbs last weekend, planted a new Liatris , and divided our iris corms, as I was cutting back the roses and dahlias I saved the last blooms, which ended up being more than I expected. A little early winter, mid-November cheer for inside the house. Because outside is looking pretty sad.

It's like he knew me...

2007-11-12T22:45:00.000-08:00

The Hilary doth protest too much, methinks.

Which work of Shakespeare was the original quote from?

Thanks, bethgirl!

I'd better hurry and post...

2007-11-12T20:24:00.000-08:00

Or my favorite season will have passed me by without so much as a blog entry describing colors on trees, the cooler weather, or some sort of delicious autumn-themed treat.

So without further ado:

Honestly, the season has somewhat passed me by here in Portland. When I left for Ohio, it didn't seem like fall yet. Maybe it was but I had been working so much that I didn't notice it. Ohio on the other hand was full of autumny goodness. The weekend we spent at Mohican State Park was beautiful, despite the weather being a bit blustery at times.

As for autumn-themed treats, I had my first piece of pumpkin pie on October 25th, and have since been enjoying baked squash, gingerbread, and maybe the best--Pumpkin Gelato (yes, it is so good, it calls for capitalization!) Some of our stores have locally-made gelato at their delis, and there is a pumpkin one right now that is ridiculous. It's not orange-colored, fake-spiced ice cream...you can taste the actual pumpkin and the real spices, which make it seem not as sweet. I'm sure there's just as much sugar in it, but I like to pretend.

And of course, the weather. I love, LOVE, when the air turns brisk, the nights are chilly, and I'm forced to slow down and stay in. I have to say, though, the ending of daylight savings kicked my butt this time around. I swear, even though it's been a week, I've been ready for bed at 8:30 every night. Is it just me?

O-H!

2007-11-01T15:32:00.000-07:00

I-O!

It's where I've been lately, walking and driving the beautiful maple, birch, and sycamore (and of course buckeye) filled roads and trails of Mohican State Park and northeastern Ohio. Spending time with family (the in-laws) is always so very fun, and I love to travel and see new things.

But it's always great to come home, too.

Until I can collect my thoughts, pictures, and up on my sleep, this is what you get for a blog entry from me.

If you're interested, my friend Amy had some great news regarding how she will spend next summer. Pretty amazing!

Wait and see...

2007-10-07T21:53:00.000-07:00

As predicted, luck was needed in picking out a paint color. We had quite a time of it, and in the end I feel like the right choice was made. See, I'm all for more muted tones, while The Husband likes bold and bright. Not to mention, we're both sort of stubborn people. No, I'm not kidding. It's true.

Now that our floor is more neutral, the one thing in the kitchen that demands you pay attention to it is our dining table. It's a vintage red formica and chrome one, much like this one but rectangle. Oh, and not new. In fact, it's well-worn. But I still love it.Obviously, an earth-tone was going to be too...earthy and bland. I was tired of discussing it, so I just let Husband pick the color.

It's actually much brighter on our walls than this swatch indicates. At first, I felt like I caved too easily. It was too bright, what my cousin K would call "Sesame Street Yellow." But once we got the furniture back into the room, it's really grown on me. And once we get the stuff back up on the walls, and the trim color chosen, and the new cabinet and drawer fronts in and painted...well, I think it's going to be just great.

All I wanted to do was paint the kitchen...

2007-10-05T21:56:00.000-07:00

But then my practical, if not overly-ambitious, husband decided that paint of any color would clash with our ugly linoleum floor and equally-ugly cabinets. So what was the decision?

If you answered, "put in a new floor, order new cabinet doors, then paint the kitchen which ever color we wanted regardless of the color of the floor," then I have to commend you for knowing The Husband better than I do.

Seriously, we put in a new floor on Thursday, and finished up the edges tonight. It's not as daunting a task as it sounds, really. We didn't have to pull up the old floor; we just tore out the rubber edging, spread down a cement-based spackle to fill in the grooves, then installed the self-adhesive 12x12 vinyl tiles. Since our plan is to completely enlarge and remodel the kitchen in 5 years, we didn't spend a ton of money or anything, just went with something affordable but attractive, and something we could install ourselves.

Here is our old floor. In case you were wondering, that's not real brick.

Here is the cement-y spackle goo we applied, so our new floor wouldn't have to see the hideousness of the old floor.

Here is a badly-lit picture of our new floor, mostly installed. The Husband swears "it looks just like marble, " and that it reminds him of an ice-skating rink. It doesn't to me, but I still like it.

The next step is paint the walls. Well, technically...the next step is to agree on a color to paint the walls. Wish us luck! (If you've ever done home-remodelling projects with a spouse or loved one, you know we'll need it.)

Lazy Indeed

2007-10-01T21:25:00.000-07:00

I apologize for my lack of posts recently, but life has been hectic lately. It's too much to go into right now, but I've been working a ton, and then there was that incident involving an all-female AC/DC cover band (Whole Lotta Rosies, not Hell's Belles) and free alcohol.

You know who hasn't been lazy? The Husband. He's off for 2 weeks before starting his new and much improved (we're hoping) job. But busy? My goodness, he's been busy. Among other things, he's talked to a dude (I believe it's what's called an "estimate") about insulating our attic and crawl-space; re-designed and re-fashioned one of the garden beds in the back which includes a now-much-larger water feature; made a grocery run and has many fine meals for us planned out; picked up paint swatches at Lowe's so I can make a decision about kitchen colors, after which he will paint the kitchen walls (I get to paint the cabinets myself); and has even found some time to loaf about.

If he ends up taking pictures of his handiwork, I will be sure to post them (and maybe give him credit.)

Random is my favorite

2007-09-16T23:08:00.000-07:00

Alright, House on the Corner Lady (a.k.a. Amy), I consider myself tagged:

6 random things about me

1. I love pets who are named human names, like Geoff, Reba, or Murray.

2. On the other hand, I hate movies and commercials where real animals (or human babies for that matter) are made to "talk."

3. I didn't get my driver's licence until I was 33 years old. I always thought that since I lived in the city, I could get around by bus, bike, and the kindness of strangers (actually, friends.) Also known as Driving Miss Lazy.

4. I used to have a horrible aversion to yellow cars. I absolutely abhorred them. At one point, I changed my bike route to work so I could avoid the 3 yellow cars that were always parked along the way.

5. In my 20 years in the work force, I have only worked for 3 companies (not counting college work-study.) I worked for the first company for 12 years; the second for 15 months; the third for 7 years (and counting.)

6. I have every ticket stub from every concert I've been to. They aren't all in one place right now, so if you asked to see them tomorrow, I would have to not answer the phone. But I swear I have them.
______________________________________________________________________

Not really all that interesting, but the request wasn't for interesting things, just random ones. Anyone know a good therapist?

My flower fancy

2007-08-12T11:54:00.000-07:00

My mother-in-law was recently in town visiting from Ohio. Since this was now the 4th time she has been to Oregon, there wasn't a lot more she wanted to see or do, but just relax and visit. One thing we did was to visit Swan Island Dahlias in Canby. I am a huge fan of dahlias. Besides the fact they were the prominent flowers at my wedding, I really appreciate the variety they offer, in height, color, bloom shape...and they are so hardy, even a lazy gardener can't kill them.

The fields were in full bloom, and it was an incredibly beautiful day. Here were some of my favorites from the fields. I hope to order at least some of these this fall.

Everything but the cabbage

2007-08-06T20:34:00.000-07:00

I have been slightly neglectful in my posts, as I've had a busy summer working and happily entertaining out of town guests. But now we're getting into the home stretch of summer (well, okay. Maybe we're only rounding 3rd*) and there's lots happening in the yard. I hope to post at least twice more over the next week, but please don't hold me to it.

This post is dedicated to my less-than-bountiful harvest of the day. Being the lazy gardener that I am, I had planted some vegetable seeds a couple of months ago (maybe?) and then promptly neglected them. But today, I had enough. I went out and dug everything up in one bed and either composted them if they were beyond edibility (all of the woody, pithy radishes) or resolved to eat them in the next few days.After picking our first ripe slicers off the vines and grabbing a cucumber from the next bed over, the result was a delicious green salad. Except for the little bit of red cabbage, everything in the salad came from our garden. And it was delicious.

*You might be asking yourself, "The Lazy Gardener? Making a baseball reference? WTF?" and you would be in your rights. In case I have never mentioned it to you, I despise baseball. If baseball were any slower or more tedious to watch, it would be farming. As in sitting in a field waiting for the corn to sprout.

The heat, how to handle it, and some bloomin' blooms

2007-07-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

It's been extremely hot here the past few days (102 yesterday, about 98 today), and even though we have central air, we can't just hibernate inside all day. It's summer, and even though I'm not a fan of the extreme heat (which for me is anything above, like, 80), we need to soak up a little sun.

And for me, drinking sangria on the patio. Out of a quart-sized canning jar. Classy!

We had a ton of artichokes, and all of them were infested with ants, which made them difficult to prepare and eat. We ended up cooking up 2 or 3 after soaking the cut 'chokes in water overnight. Honestly, it was more trouble than it was worth. I'm planning on reading up on how to successfully growing artichokes that aren't crawling with pests. In the meantime, they're starting to bloom.

One of my favorite shrubs in the yard is now in bloom. I love Hydrangeas for a few reasons, but the main one is how you can change the color of the flowers just by changing the acidity of the soil. This one, our largest of 3, is a pretty standard blue. I noticed the other day that a few of the clusters are more purple.

And finally, the ground covers we planted in between our patio stones are filling in nicely. We planted some Scotch Moss, Corsican Mint, Creeping Thyme, and Blue Star Creeper. Here, the thyme and blue star begin to commingle.

Better than chocolate

2007-06-26T22:26:00.000-07:00

When I was growing up, summertime gatherings at my grandparent's house always meant homemade ice cream. It was almost always vanilla, but occasionally chocolate chip, with Hershey's chocolate syrup and fresh seasonal fruit to top it. We made it in a Blue Mountain brand hand-crank freezer similar to this. The rule was if you didn't help crank it, you didn't get any ice cream. So the kids would go first, of course, and it would end with an adult sitting on top of it to keep it balanced, while one of my uncles cranked the crap out of it, trying to make the other person fall off.

Because of these great memories, I eschewed electric ice cream freezers for a long time. The old-fashioned method was surely the best, alternating ice and rock salt to get the right temperature, the pleasure of working a little to get a treat, the...uh...hmm...right.

Screw old-fashioned (not the cocktail, of course. Those are quite delicious.) I don't want to have to mess with the mess. I mentioned to my best friend before my wedding that I thought an ice cream maker would be nice. And that's what she and her husband gave us.
We don't use it often enough, and I don't have much of a repertoire. I don't like to make recipes that call for eggs (it's not a contamination issue, I just don't like eggs.) and I don't go in for super-fancy complex things. Or chocolate, really. The one I make with some regularity is lemon-buttermilk ice cream. It's delicious and low fat and perfect for putting garden fresh strawberries and raspberries on top.

"One of the earth’s monstrosities"

2007-06-24T15:50:00.001-07:00

What was Pliny the Elder so crabby about? Okay, so they aren't soft, pretty plants. But they look pretty great in our garden.

I was thinking of making my own Cynar. (nah, it's probably much easier to buy it.)

Maybe that's what the gazillion ants that live on our artichokes are doing. Maybe that's what Pliny the Elder should have done.

(All of these 'chokes are on 2 plants!)

...unless Briscoe eats them all.

2007-06-14T20:33:00.001-07:00

Oh, and he does love the raspberries.

We're thinking about opening our own Raspberry Mart

2007-06-12T21:23:00.000-07:00

There's going to be a bumper crop of raspberries this year. And I can only make so much jam. Raspberry recipes, anyone*? Sure, I mean besides raspberry liqueur.

*And by "anyone", of course I'm referring to all 3 of you.

Global Warming? I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about...

2007-06-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

Except that my Dahlias are starting to bloom. It's June, by the way.

Stomach v. Heart

2007-06-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

This happens every year. I either plant way too many everything in the garden (I never thought there could be too many tomatoes) or I fall in love with everything at the farmer's market, so naturally I have to buy it, and then I get it home, and now what? I have a quart and a half of local strawberries (one of the best reasons to live in Oregon, by the way), 3 pounds of rhubarb, and a bunch of beets plus an extra helping of beet greens the woman in front of me didn't want. I have no specific plans for these things, and the berries aren't going to last for long. Yes, I will eat about a pint of them right off the bat, but really what I meant was that they are fragile specimens that go bad quickly, even under refrigeration.
Thinking quickly, or at least within 24 hours, I decided to make proper freezer jam. Not the kind where I make up a recipe and proportions, and use bottled lemon juice and no pectin whatever (ahem. not that I've ever done that...) and ended up with something like a sweet and sour fruit soup. No, this time I researched recipes online, went to the store (the Fred Meyer that turns me into a stressed out, evil bitch) to buy pectin and nice GladWare containers for the freezer, and ended up making a delicious batch of strawberry-rhubarb freezer jam and a mediocre batch of simple strawberry freezer jam. It was mediocre because it's a touch sweeter than I like it and it tastes almost like artificial strawberry flavor.

:::sidenote: as I was researching recipes for freezer jam, I had a very difficult time finding recipes that didn't use strawberry-flavored Jell-o as the strawberry component. It freaked me out a little, but The Husband reminded me these were probably Midwesterners who also often use condensed soups as a principle ingredient in their recipes:::

As for the beets, I cubed and cooked them, then tossed them with one batch of the greens I had chopped, and tossed it all with a French Vinaigrette. The other batch of greens is waiting to be steamed for a side dish. The Husband mentioned he's glad I like beets as much as he does.

See how lazy I am?...

2007-06-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

I haven't really even blogged much at all about gardening. But blogging about my neighbors is almost in the same vein, right?

In my previous post about how precious some of my neighbors are, I mentioned a neighbor (he lives behind us) who smokes and hacks (dubbed "Lung Butter", and I can't take credit for that name. But it fits.) and is only one of the neighbors who leaves his dogs out all the time to bark. Lung Butter is the main reason we built a taller fence, because we found we couldnt go out into our backyard without him talking to us. And in the pre-taller-fence days, The Husband inadvertantly saw a swingers-style party in their house, which involved cocaine (or another insufflated drug) and mustache rides (no word on what he was charging for those.) The guy, I feel a little sorry for him, has been unemployed and spends his days drinking and smoking pot. We recently found out, too, that his family moved out. So now his days are spent also playing his electric guitar in his back yard.

Over the course of the past month or so, as we have been out working in the yard more, we get the pleasure of hearing Lung Butter play his electric guitar. He actually isn't half bad, but his playing consists only of the main guitar riffs of classic rock songs: Stairway to Heaven, Smoke on the Water, Iron Man are the ones I recognise. Yesterday morning as The Husband and I were getting ready to go to the farmer's market, Lung Butter came walking by our house and asked if we had a CD player in our car, because he had a copy of his band's CD he wanted to give us to listen to. Husband lied and said we didn't, but then later regretted it, as it may have been good for a few laughs.

This morning, Sunday at 8:00, I took the dogs into the back yard, and LB was already up and playing his riffs. I imagined it to be almost like Jimi Hendrix playing the "Star Spangled Banner" that morning at Woodstock. It could be historical, and here I am mocking it. Shame on me.

Looking for a new home?

2007-04-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

So there's a super-cute little house for sale on our street. It's TINY and seriously needs some work (like new floors), but it's cheap. For those of you not from Portland or for those of you unfamiliar with the housing market here, $165,000 will get you 750 square feet (yes, 750. I didn't leave out a digit) in a neighborhood that's up-and-coming to be up-and-coming.

I mean, our little community here DOES have standards for potential members. If one or more of these criteria sounds like you, please let me know and I will put you in touch with the realtor immediately

§You have at least one dog you apparently do not allow in your house and you leave them outside to bark. Constantly.

§You choose not to smoke cigarettes in your house, but instead stand on your back porch, all the while hacking up one or both lungs while the smoke drifts over to your neighbors' yards. This is especially nice in the summer.

§You are suspected by your neighbors of being a drug dealer, and in fact, at least one of your neighbors has alerted the neighborhood fuzz.

§You have a trailer in your backyard, where you allow your son and his girlfriend to stay, and from which they come and go at all hours.

§You have at least one vehicle with a damaged/missing muffler, which you enjoy "revving" for 20 minutes or longer.

§You have a constant stream of used appliances in your front yard, which you and your friends haul away on a daily basis, only to replace them with others. It appears this is your career.

§You live in a tiny house with your spouse and 3 teenage daughters who appear typical: squealing, fighting, laughing, etc., but who also prevent your neighbors from keeping their windows open at night in the summer.

§You have an adult child who has mixed himself up with "the wrong crowd" (that is, most likely drug dealers), and pisses them off, wherein they retaliate by throwing a Molotov Cocktail at your house.

It's like our own little gated community without the gates. Come see the paradise.

The Argument for Dandelions

2007-04-22T18:30:00.000-07:00

Whoever it was that came up with what qualifies as a weed should explain themselves.

When my husband and I bought our house 3+ years ago, the idea of a nearly-double city lot was appealing. 1. We paid but a song for it (a good song, mind you. The equivalent of "Bohemian Rhapsody", let's say), 2. Our house is situated basically in the middle of the lot, so our neighbors don't seem so close, and 3. Lots of yard to play with and landscape and hang out in.

The first 2 points have paid off. Number 3? Well, if we were retired or I was a stay-at-home dog-mom or we made enough dough to pay someone to be our gardener, then this blog wouldn't exist, frankly.

The house itself didn't need too much work, just some cosmetic changes to suit our personal tastes. What really needed help was the yard. A lot of grass, random plants, and berries. Oh my good lord, the berries. I love berries as much as the next person, but hello. They are like weeds that jump across borders and fences (feel free to insert some sort of "joke" about immigrants here.) And dandelions? When you pull them out or pop their little heads off, that is not the end of dandelions. I thought if we pulled a bunch of them out, and left them out as a warning for other dandelions, they would back off. It only makes them stronger. They unite and conquer. And we can't use an herbicide for them because of our pets, not to mention the impact of the environment.

So my question is: who decided that dandelions are weeds? I read recently that sometimes a weed is just a misplaced flower or plant. I can think of lots of things that are classified as plants that are even more prolific (in a bad way) than dandelions. Ivy? Lemon balm? Japanese honeysuckle? Don't plant any of these in the ground unless you want to be taken over by a plant, a la Little Shop of Horrors.

Frankly, I'm just too lazy to try and keep up with getting rid of weeds completely. Our yard will never look like a carefully manicured park. But as long as I can sit on the patio and enjoy an adult beverage and feel good about the work we've done, I'm okay with that.