See how lazy I am?...

I haven't really even blogged much at all about gardening. But blogging about my neighbors is almost in the same vein, right?

In my previous post about how precious some of my neighbors are, I mentioned a neighbor (he lives behind us) who smokes and hacks (dubbed "Lung Butter", and I can't take credit for that name. But it fits.) and is only one of the neighbors who leaves his dogs out all the time to bark. Lung Butter is the main reason we built a taller fence, because we found we couldnt go out into our backyard without him talking to us. And in the pre-taller-fence days, The Husband inadvertantly saw a swingers-style party in their house, which involved cocaine (or another insufflated drug) and mustache rides (no word on what he was charging for those.) The guy, I feel a little sorry for him, has been unemployed and spends his days drinking and smoking pot. We recently found out, too, that his family moved out. So now his days are spent also playing his electric guitar in his back yard.

Over the course of the past month or so, as we have been out working in the yard more, we get the pleasure of hearing Lung Butter play his electric guitar. He actually isn't half bad, but his playing consists only of the main guitar riffs of classic rock songs: Stairway to Heaven, Smoke on the Water, Iron Man are the ones I recognise. Yesterday morning as The Husband and I were getting ready to go to the farmer's market, Lung Butter came walking by our house and asked if we had a CD player in our car, because he had a copy of his band's CD he wanted to give us to listen to. Husband lied and said we didn't, but then later regretted it, as it may have been good for a few laughs.

This morning, Sunday at 8:00, I took the dogs into the back yard, and LB was already up and playing his riffs. I imagined it to be almost like Jimi Hendrix playing the "Star Spangled Banner" that morning at Woodstock. It could be historical, and here I am mocking it. Shame on me.

Looking for a new home?

So there's a super-cute little house for sale on our street. It's TINY and seriously needs some work (like new floors), but it's cheap. For those of you not from Portland or for those of you unfamiliar with the housing market here, $165,000 will get you 750 square feet (yes, 750. I didn't leave out a digit) in a neighborhood that's up-and-coming to be up-and-coming.

I mean, our little community here DOES have standards for potential members. If one or more of these criteria sounds like you, please let me know and I will put you in touch with the realtor immediately

§You have at least one dog you apparently do not allow in your house and you leave them outside to bark. Constantly.

§You choose not to smoke cigarettes in your house, but instead stand on your back porch, all the while hacking up one or both lungs while the smoke drifts over to your neighbors' yards. This is especially nice in the summer.

§You are suspected by your neighbors of being a drug dealer, and in fact, at least one of your neighbors has alerted the neighborhood fuzz.

§You have a trailer in your backyard, where you allow your son and his girlfriend to stay, and from which they come and go at all hours.

§You have at least one vehicle with a damaged/missing muffler, which you enjoy "revving" for 20 minutes or longer.

§You have a constant stream of used appliances in your front yard, which you and your friends haul away on a daily basis, only to replace them with others. It appears this is your career.

§You live in a tiny house with your spouse and 3 teenage daughters who appear typical: squealing, fighting, laughing, etc., but who also prevent your neighbors from keeping their windows open at night in the summer.

§You have an adult child who has mixed himself up with "the wrong crowd" (that is, most likely drug dealers), and pisses them off, wherein they retaliate by throwing a Molotov Cocktail at your house.

It's like our own little gated community without the gates. Come see the paradise.