Step 2. When you get home, unload your groceries from the car to the house. Put all of the bags on the kitchen counter except for 2 of them.
Step 3. Run upstairs to check your email. Make sure the dogs follow you up.
3a. Do not notice one of the dogs slip away downstairs unnoticed.
Step 4. Come downstairs to find said dog starting in on a one-pound carton of butter.
4a. Look around for the other pound of butter and find only the gnawed outer carton.
Step 5. Become incredulous that a 35-pound dog would have consumed a pound of delicious, delicious butter, waxed wrapping and all. Look around for the other 3 cubes he couldn't have possibly eaten.
Step 6. After realizing he had ingested a pound of butter (unsalted, luckily!), scold him as if it were entirely his fault, then send him to his crate.
Step 7. After a brief moment, snap back into reality. Recall the time 2 years ago when he ingested almost an entire box of Samoa Girl Scout cookies, and what the emergency vet said about saturated fat.
Step 8. Call your vet, panicked, and explain (sheepishly) how your 35-pound dog ate a pound, not a cube, of butter.
Step 9. Realize that your dog is not in grave danger when the first thing your vet playfully says to you is, "well, you know...you really should feed him regularly."
Step 10. Confirm with the vet your known method of inducing regurgitation: hydrogen peroxide mixed with peanut butter.
Step 4. Come downstairs to find said dog starting in on a one-pound carton of butter.
4a. Look around for the other pound of butter and find only the gnawed outer carton.
Step 5. Become incredulous that a 35-pound dog would have consumed a pound of delicious, delicious butter, waxed wrapping and all. Look around for the other 3 cubes he couldn't have possibly eaten.
Step 6. After realizing he had ingested a pound of butter (unsalted, luckily!), scold him as if it were entirely his fault, then send him to his crate.
Step 7. After a brief moment, snap back into reality. Recall the time 2 years ago when he ingested almost an entire box of Samoa Girl Scout cookies, and what the emergency vet said about saturated fat.
Step 8. Call your vet, panicked, and explain (sheepishly) how your 35-pound dog ate a pound, not a cube, of butter.
Step 9. Realize that your dog is not in grave danger when the first thing your vet playfully says to you is, "well, you know...you really should feed him regularly."
Step 10. Confirm with the vet your known method of inducing regurgitation: hydrogen peroxide mixed with peanut butter.
10a. Feel embarrassed when the vet says, "...well, I think he's had enough fat for today. Just take a turkey baster and force the hydrogen peroxide down his throat."
Step 11. After following the vet's instructions, spend the rest of the afternoon feeling the scorn of the sick dog because you're the one who made him sick.
It was a bad day for this dog mom.
Step 11. After following the vet's instructions, spend the rest of the afternoon feeling the scorn of the sick dog because you're the one who made him sick.
It was a bad day for this dog mom.
2 comments:
Awww, that's tough, but also funny. I'm sure you've heard Christian's story about the time their dog Radar ate an entire tub of Crisco. I don't think they induced regurgitation, but they had to leave him out in the yard until it was, ahem, out of his system.
Our cats need a razor eye upon them whenever we eat ice cream or eggs. Michi especially steals eggs from Tim like the wind, he's a sneaky one.
:)
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