Empty Nest

...Yes, even though I completely left out a blog entry on the subject, oh...8 weeks ago, our little ladies have moved out on their own. I have a feeling I won't sleep well tonight because I will be worried about them.

How to turn your dog bulimic in 11 easy steps!

Step 1. Make a large grocery run. Preferably after helping a friend make it to an appointment to get an MRI then going out for a burrito and beer.

Step 2. When you get home, unload your groceries from the car to the house. Put all of the bags on the kitchen counter except for 2 of them.

Step 3. Run upstairs to check your email. Make sure the dogs follow you up.

3a. Do not notice one of the dogs slip away downstairs unnoticed.

Step 4. Come downstairs to find said dog starting in on a one-pound carton of butter.
4a. Look around for the other pound of butter and find only the gnawed outer carton.

Step 5. Become incredulous that a 35-pound dog would have consumed a pound of delicious, delicious butter, waxed wrapping and all. Look around for the other 3 cubes he couldn't have possibly eaten.

Step 6. After realizing he had ingested a pound of butter (unsalted, luckily!), scold him as if it were entirely his fault, then send him to his crate.

Step 7. After a brief moment, snap back into reality. Recall the time 2 years ago when he ingested almost an entire box of Samoa Girl Scout cookies, and what the emergency vet said about saturated fat.

Step 8. Call your vet, panicked, and explain (sheepishly) how your 35-pound dog ate a pound, not a cube, of butter.

Step 9. Realize that your dog is not in grave danger when the first thing your vet playfully says to you is, "well, you know...you really should feed him regularly."

Step 10. Confirm with the vet your known method of inducing regurgitation: hydrogen peroxide mixed with peanut butter.

10a. Feel embarrassed when the vet says, "...well, I think he's had enough fat for today. Just take a turkey baster and force the hydrogen peroxide down his throat."

Step 11. After following the vet's instructions, spend the rest of the afternoon feeling the scorn of the sick dog because you're the one who made him sick.

It was a bad day for this dog mom.

Sunshine Came Softly

It must be spring here on the peninsula...

These are some of the prettiest tulips I've ever seen...

The scent of the narcissus are so intoxicating, I can't cut them and bring them in the house. They're too overwhelming!

I don't really like to eat chives, but I think the plant is so pretty.

I wish I could say this is the lone dandelion in our yard.

Oh, yes. And chickens. 6 cute little peepers who live in a galvanized watering trough in our spare bedroom, with nothing but a heat lamp, food, water, and attention from us twice a day. What a life.

Cal has been busy building a coop, because he's good like that. No real building plans, just an amalgamation of coop plans he's seen, combined with his intuition, intelligence, and focus. It's almost done, and once they get their big-girl feathers, in about another 4-6 weeks, they will get to live outside for good, eating grubs, ants, and vegetable scraps.

And most likely boss the dogs around.

Time

I apparently have a horrible sense of time. On March 2nd, I told you I would be back in a week. It is now the 29th.

That's more than a week, right? I mean, my calendar here at my house still says February.

I have a few things to blog about:

• Chickens
• Cider
• Travel
• And of course, the yard
  

For the first 2, I even have pictures to go along with the upcoming blog entries! For the third subject, the travel is coming up--this week and in June--so there will be pictures. For the last subject, every time I walk around the yard, I get slightly depressed. There may or may not be pictures, depending on my pride.

So. Much. Work. To. Do.

Thanks for your patience!

Holy Mackerel

8 months since I made a blog entry?! That's just ridiculous.
I've been gearing up to start writing again, but I'm not quite ready tonight.
Check back in a week (she says to probably nobody.)

So I broke North with no delay *

I've always been enamored of members of the Ursidae family, having grown up going to the Oregon Zoo a lot, and always wanting to spend more time in that area than in any other. Ursus maritimus has always been my favorite of the bears, but I love them all. In fact, for the minute I was a Zoology major, I considered focusing on the study of bears (Ursology?). I curse my math-feeble brain for holding me back from that, with a possible failing grade in Physics on the horizon.

When Cal and I decided to take a vacation this year (our first since our honeymoon 3 years ago), and we decided on Glacier National Park and Waterton Lakes National Park, I only had one thing on my mind: Bears. Not the threat of encountering one on a hike or picnic, but the promise of seeing one from a respectable distance. Because, while I daydream about cuddling up with a bear and perhaps talking over the state of the world, I know the reality of their ferocity.

While I was helping Cal watch the road for deer, elk, sheep, and goats, I was all the while scanning for signs of Beardom. In the brush right off the road, in the distant tree-filled slopes, on the lakefront taking a bath. Nothing. Lots of mountain goats, Bighorn sheep, ground squirrels, deer (oh my heavens, did we see deer!) but not a bear to be found.

The day before we left for home, we were coming back from our beautiful hike at Haystack Butte. I was feeling a bit glum, having encountered no bears during our trip. After we crossed back into Canada, on our way to the lodge, we noticed cars were stopped at the side of the road. We pulled over to see what I assumed to be some boring old mountain goats (we had seen so many, it almost wasn't interesting anymore.) On the little hill, about 100 feet from the car, I saw some ears (4 of them) poking up that definitely did not belong to a goat. Or a sheep. Or a deer. I thought maybe they belonged to some wolves.

And then...
they raised their heads...
and we saw...

(No, it wasn't a Two-Headed Bear)

















*My excitement at seeing two young grizzly bears from my car window was a high that lasted for days. I had an excited little hand-dance I would give intermittently while Cal was driving, always to the tune of "Girls" by the Beastie Boys. But, of course, it wasn't girls I was singing about, it was bears (two at a time I want...)

I will have to write more about our trip later in the week, as I'm headed up to Seattle tomorrow for Riesling Rendezvous, hoping to bring some information back to my people and bust some myths about Riesling. As I've said before, my job sucks.

I really should send W. a Thank You note

After all, we wouldn't have been able to take a summer vacation without his stimulus (sorry, couldn't resist.) In fact, I can't remember the last time I took a summer vacation as an adult.

Glacier National Park, I will sign your name to the card, too.

(Our decision to spend the stimulus on a vacation is great and all, but it's not as good as the guy Cal heard about who was going to donate his entire stimulus check to the Obama campaign.)

Summer Eye Candy, Part 1

This is one of my favorite views in my yard right now: Icelandic Poppies as viewed through the artichokes.

















One of few Peonies that bloom in our yard.

















My favorite rosebush. It's also the healthiest, right in front of the house.



My Oregon strawberries (not actually from my yard) before vacuum-packing and freezer treatment.

Summer Music Meme

Thanks, Notorious Ph.D for another opportunity for a non-house/garden-related post (and also: happy birthday!)
The following list is my "what music is shaping your summer, right now?" meme. The instructions are as follows:

• List seven songs you are into right now.
• No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your summer.
• Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs.
• Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.
  

(The last one is irrelevant, because I only know 4 or 5 people who read my blog.)

• She Left Me For Jesus--Hayes Carll (I just saw him open for Old 97s last week, and was very impressed. If you're not into traditional or alt-country, or any country for that matter, you'd best stay away. Clever lyrics, though.)
• Rabbit Fur Coat--Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
• Tree Hugger--Kimya Dawson/Antsy Pants
• Barrier Reef--Old 97s
• No Hiding Place--Elvis Costello
• Baby Let Me Hold your Hand--Detroit Cobras
• Pot Kettle Black--Wilco

There are a ton of other songs, since I drive about an hour a day for work...windows down, stereo turned up, chugging down the road in my 12 year-old Mazda...yeah. I'm a bad-ass. But at least I have awesome shades.

Because it's fun

36 As a 1930s wife, I am Poor Take the test!

I suspect I would be better if I didn't warm my cold feet on my husband at night and dressed in my pearls and heels for breakfast.

76 As a 1930s husband, I am Very Superior Take the test!

I hope he knows what a good husband I am.

Thanks Notorious, for a fun time-killer!

So long, sucker

Part of being a grown-up, in my eyes, is getting enthused with the purchase of a seemingly-mundane household item. The kind of item my 22-year-old self might roll her eyes at. My 37-year-old self, however, relishes it. When The Queen purchased us a dishwasher for Christmas the year Cal and I bought our house, I was so happy. And when we figured out we had enough Sears gift cards from our wedding/birthdays/etc. to put toward a huge chunk of the fridge we wanted? Again, happy. Ditto for our new range. And the new washer and dryer.

It seemed like we had what we needed for the house, appliance-wise. Then I realized, with 2 dogs and 2 cats, all of whom shed like crazy, how old my upright vacuum was. It was one of the first "adult" purchases when I moved out of my parents' house in 1989. Actually, I think it was a gift. It's vacuumed 7 domiciles, been repaired once when the Crazy Ex-Roommate decided she would just vacuum up the cat litter she spilled (like a whole bag's worth), and suffered through me having lost attachments for it and over-full bags. And its vacuuming power just wasn't for our needs anymore.

I mentioned to Cal that, at some point in the future, I was looking forward to getting a new vacuum. Being a pragmatist, not to mention frugal, he said when Hoover gave out, we would get a new one. About a month later, he came home from work and told me they were in need of a new vacuum at their office, and he was going to donate Hoover.

Not only is my beloved pragmatic and frugal, he is thorough and methodical. He researched new vacuums, compared features, and went to Stark's, which is sort of in our neighborhood and has been in business since 1932. When he found one he thought would fit our needs, he had me go check it out and buy it if I liked it.

Introducing: Simplicity 'Verve', the newest member of our household.

Is it possible to have a crush on a vacuum cleaner? The answer is "yes", when it's this sexy.
I'm thinking of some flame decals or maybe some sexy-lady mudflaps.

Lack of Sleep, Lack of Sun, Abundance of Canadians

What have I been doing in the past month or so since I've written a true blog entry? Hmm...

Work
Lots of personnel changes means The Lazy Gardener is not The Lazy Wine Steward. Since I travel from site to site filling in, it's been an especially busy time for me. This is the first week I've had time to breathe, and I'm essentially taking a 3-day weekend.

Home
We had a few nice days a week or so ago (honestly, I've lost track of time), and everything in the yard just seemed to pop. Because of our unseasonably cool weather, a lot of the performers in our yard are a little behind. The Lilacs didn't seem to last as long as usual this year, same with the Dogwood and Golden Chain. The Mock Orange is almost blooming (2 weeks later than usual) and so is the Mountain Laurel.

Remember last month when I planted some seeds in the egg cartons? Yeah, I fried them in the garden window without having remembered to water them for a few days. This was during the freakishly hot weather last week. Incidentally, forgetting to water is why most of my house plants eventually died.

We bought a new minor appliance, which I will write about in another entry.

I'm hoping for a break in the weather to finally got my starts in the ground and a few weeds pulled. The weekend (Mother's Day) I usually plant the tomatoes and such, it was far too wet. The following weekend was far too hot, and I was afraid they would wilt or fry. I don't even care if there's a light drizzle, I will plant my starts. This is Oregon after all. I was born and raised here, so I should hardly let a little rain stop me.

Life
Mother's Day was a little different this year. Normally, The Queen and I go down to Salem to Schreiner's Iris Gardens to stroll through the gardens and purchase 12 cut stems of various iris for a ridiculously small amount of money. But, knowing what was, and wasn't, happening in our yard, I called ahead of time to see what was happening in their gardens. They, too, are about 2 weeks behind.
So instead, The Queen wanted to go to Ikea. Ikea opened a Portland store last year, and she has admired some of the attractive, affordable kitchen paraphernalia Cal and I have purchased. And she was also interested in their ridiculously inexpensive tasty breakfast that I rave about. Breakfast was eaten (I had Swedish Pancakes--yum!), shopping and browsing commenced, and The Queen was duly impressed with amount of goodies she bought for such a small amount of money.

That night, I went with 6 of my friends to see Kids in the Hall, the Canadian comedy troupe extraordinaire who recently reunited and are currently touring. Four of us have been huge fans since...well, a long time (the other 3 in the group were significant others.) A few of us have even had a contest going to see how many Kids we could meet before they die ("Better hurry, then," as Dave Foley told Paige when she met him on the set of "NewsRadio" some years back.) Kevin and Bruce have been the elusive ones, although honestly, since we met Dave, Mark, and Scott in 2000, we have settled into our adult lives and haven't had the time or money to travel around fulfilling a silly dream.
...This time, however, our silly dream came to us.
As for the contest, AudGirl, Paige, and I all won together! Some members of our party, however, didn't think it was such a big deal since all they had to do was show up to one show in one city. We didn't let their smugness get us down. We're still beaming.

Briefly...

[Yes, I have been away from the blog for awhile. I wish I had a better (read: more glamorous) excuse for my absence. But the truth is, I've been working an extra lot the past month.

I have quite a bit to tell you, nothing earth-shattering, just little things. I hope to have time tomorrow to write it all down.

But until then, one thought from today...]

One who has PMS, and who is also an animal-lover (or even an animal-liker) should never just "drop by" the Humane Society to visit the kitties and the doggies. If that individual has no self-control, there might be tears. Not to mention fighting the urge to bring home 2 more cats and a 65-pound dog.

Im April macht das Wetter was es will

I just heard on the news that the high temperature for tomorrow, in Portland Oregon, will be lower than the high temperatures in Moscow, Reykjavik, and Anchorage.

Seriously?

Seriously.

What I Did On My 4-day Weekend (or Who Am I and What Have I Done With The Lazy Gardener?)

It could have gone one of 2 ways: Take 4 days off and sit around the house doing not much of anything except squishing ants in the kitchen (for serious) or take 4 days off and kick some serious boo-tay.

Friday:

• Took the dogs on a longer-than-usual walk
• Went down to visit my grandfather and my cousin and her son who were visiting, too. Had lunch at Hometown Buffet. Didn't over-eat for once (although I could fill up on their fried okra, banana pudding, and chocolate pudding cake.)
  
• Braved Winco for some lunch staples and the rest of dinner ingredients and the pet supply store for kennel bedding.
  
• Mowed the front lawn after foraging in Loafland.
• Cooked Cal an extra-nice dinner after an extra-hard week for him.
  
• Took a walk with Cal and the dogs after dinner
• Folded some laundry

Saturday:

• Slept in a little bit (which means 7:30 in our house)
  
• Cleaned up in the kitchen and started to reorganize the pantry
  
• Finally planted some seeds in egg cartons to put in the garden window (I know I know...shouldn't I have done this a month or 2 ago? The answer, of course, is yes. )
• Weeded the north-facing shade bed
• Worked with Cal to get the vegetable beds ready for planting, which included getting the clover taken care of (the soil is super-great now)
• Discovered that if you listen to the David Bowie station on Pandora long enough, you will hear Billy Idol. More than once. And Devo.
• Mowed the backyard
• Had a (mostly) one-sided conversation with some worms. Successfully convinced them that the dirt flower bed was a more comfortable home for them than underneath a root-bound Escallonia in a pot on top of a concrete slab.
  
• Watched Cal wash my car (more exhausting than you'd think)
• Got a sunburn on my shoulder (yes, I was wearing sunscreen. I missed a spot.)
  
• With Cal, finished seating one of the big (about 4' x 4') planter boxes he made last year
• Went to The Lucky Lab to join my friend Scooter for a birthday beer (his birthday, not mine)

Sunday:

• Finished cleaning the kitchen
• Cleaned out the inside of my car--Cal Shop-Vac'ed it for me
• Did a little bit of weeding
• Cal and I cleaned out the garage (a huge task, let me tell you) (It's almost unbelievable some of the things we saved: an empty yarrow seed envelope? A pair or work gloves with holes in all the fingers?)
• Ran a couple of errands with my mom and then had dinner--our first time firing up the grill this year!
• Discovered that listening to the Led Zeppelin station on Pandora makes us fit in almost too well in our neighborhood

(I definitely feel like I accomplished less on Sunday than I did on Saturday.)

Monday:

• Losing...steam...11 in the morning...haven't done...anything. Except eat breakfast.
• I...
• Um...
  
• Oh, yes. I made a chocolate buttermilk cake with some leftover buttermilk I had.
• Made some stew
• Apparently, the day revolved around food.

The weather had turned from 70 degrees and sunny all weekend to 55 degrees and rainy and windy on Monday. I felt forced to stay inside. Actually, it was nice after so much activity Saturday and Sunday.

That, friends, concludes my 4-day weekend. It's back to work in the morning (and on Wednesday, a beer school course with the fun and fabulous Jamie Emmerson of Full Sail Brewing!) (I know...my job sucks.)

A bit of inspiration

One of the perks of my job and where I work (there are many) is the free food. Now, it's not as if the employees just take their shopping carts down the aisles and fill up on organic milk, gluten-free tortillas, and free-range chocolate. But sometimes, for instance, our produce departments have to throw out fruits and veggies. Yes, some of it goes to the food bank, but the employees are encouraged to sift through and take home. A lot of the stuff is barely bad--how many times have any of us passed over a banana with a blemish or an apple with a bruise? When it's free, though, these defects hardly matter.

In the past week, I have been inspired:

• First, by my best friend AudGirl and her husband Bert. He and I work for the same company, and when The Husband (Cal--yes, I've decided "The Husband" needs a name. Even if it's a fake one.) and I were over at their house last weekend, Bert was showing off the various pickle-projects they had done: Asparagus, eggs (I have say "gross" to that one, but apparently Cal likes them) and some other ones made with produce he picked up for free.

• Second, by someone I've never met, but admire: lolo from VeganYumYum. While I'm not a vegan, or even a vegetarian (I was for almost 10 years, though...the time which my mother lovingly refers to as "The Dark Years"), but every time I read her blog, I consider a lifestyle change. This is the post that inspired me.

• Third, by my mom (she's always an inspiration, though) after enjoying the pickled beets she shared with us. They're basic refrigerator-preserved, as opposed to hot-water-bath canning. They are incredibly delicious.
  

In all instances, I realized that canning/preserving doesn't need to be done on a large scale basis. My first project was strawberry jam. I picked up a bunch of free berries that were on the verge of being over-ripe. Normally, strawberries this time of year are off-limits for me--they're pretty on the outside and actually smell like strawberries, but they are always white and blah on the inside. I have to make myself wait until the Oregon berries are available. But free berries trump my snobbery. I had enough berries to make about 9 pints of jam.
(It looks a little strange, because all of the solids floated to the top. But I assure you, it's delicious.)

My second project was marmalade. I scored a bunch of Meyer lemons and thought turning them into marmalade seemed appropriate. And I was correct--the sweet-tart and bright quality of Meyer lemons balances just right with the sweet base of the jam. I regret not having used more lemon peel, but it is still so pretty. I started to get a little nervous, though: after I had consulted a few recipes and made it, it didn't set up. 6 hours later, it wasn't set up. I tried to ignore it, thinking magically overnight it would gel, so to speak. Then I researched a little online about marmalade and potential lack of a firm set. I came across a forum with people talking about how it sometimes takes 1 week (2 weeks, in one case!) for their marmalade to set up. So I was given hope.

I still have about a dozen lemons left and some of the peel from the ones I used. I will definitely be making an infused vodka with much of it, but I don't want any of it to go to waste. Then I came across this article. If nothing else, I know 2 members of this household who would appreciate #35.

Good thing I'm an amateur!

Redneck Mother says she read somewhere that "posting pet photos on your blog is 'unprofessional'."
Just as she did, allow me to thumb my nose at convention and professionalism.

Ladies and gentleman (or -men? Maybe?), I present to you Malcolm and Briscoe. Also known as "dopey attention whore" and "sullen, moody teenager."

And so it begins...

Spring, that is. Here's a sampler of what's happening in my yard right now.






The winter Viburnum that smells heavenly and flowers before it gets leaves...















The little violet plants that thrive in bark chips on top of veggie barrier...(that's Briscoe
in the background)







The Pieris japonica looking pretty...











The mess of spirea branches filling out with leaves...






Grape hyacinths, which we have everywhere in our yard. They've naturalized into parts of the lawn, too!

And introducing...my first spring flower of the year!

(It's the same flower from a different angle. I was just really excited.)

Divide and (not quite) conquer

Today was one of those February days in Portland that teases and titillates.

Sunshine!

60 degrees!

Singing birds!

Goodness, it must be springtime!

Okay, not quite. But we're getting close. I acquired my first purchased flowers of the season, 2 sweet primroses from my grandfather. After he divided them from the tray this afternoon, he rushed me out the door because he wanted to make sure they would make it home without dying, because I insisted on putting them in a temporary container that was too small, and which he insisted on loading up with potting soil.

"Papa, I'll be home in half an hour, they'll be fine."

"Well...alright. But go right home and plant them."

(Please don't tell him I stopped at the market for dinner ingredients. He might stroke out.)

A side note on my grandfather and flowers: Since my grandmother passed away last year, he has been almost religious in keeping with many of the gardening practices she kept. For instance, the strip along the driveway must be planted with the correct color of geraniums. And the section under the eve on the south side of the house must be planted with the correct number of begonias. I'm not even kidding.

Since the weather was so nice, I thought it wise to take advantage of it and work on a project and not just sit inside, fold laundry, and watch bad television Law & Order on TNT. It was imperative that I dig up and divide up my dahlia tubers this year. By the time I got around to it last year, it was too late and the dahlias were already sprouting up.

Oh.
My.
Stars.

Let's not skip a year again, k? Out of the 11 different tuber masses I dug up, no fewer than 5 of them had to be put into full-sized paper grocery bags for temporary storage. A couple of them were even double-bagged for safety reasons. My point is (in case you're lost): I have many, many dahlia tubers. And we're running out of space in our garden beds right now, until we take out more lawn and the crappy shrubs I don't like. Luckily, I seem to have many friends in town who are not only willing, but excited to take some off my hands.

I expect in a few years, I will be getting an email from these friends asking if I'm in need of dahlia tubers. What goes around comes around, I guess.